His Grace said:
"Dodo. Please do not presume to correct Mr Carl Jacobs' spelling. This is a catholic
blog,
and His Grace is as tolerant of American English
as he is of schizophrenic communicants with multiple personalities
and diverse expressions of identity."
and His Grace is as tolerant of American English
as he is of schizophrenic communicants with multiple personalities
and diverse expressions of identity."
Blast and Sussafrussarassafrassarickaracket
Ernst is always away from the blog when His Grace is
delivering an ecclesiastical spanking.
Stop That Dodo
Ernsty Mutley you snickering floppy
Ernsty Mutley you snickering floppy
eared hound
when courage is needed, you're
neer around.
Those medals you wear on
your moth-eaten chest
should be there for sniggering
at which you are best.
So stop the Dodo!
Howww?
nab him
jab him
tab him
grab him
Stop that Dodo now!
So stop the Dodo!
Howww?
nab him
jab him
tab him
grab him
Stop that Dodo now!
You, silly, stop sneaking it's not
worth the chance
for you'll be returned to the care home by the seat of your pants
and Len, you invent me a
thingamybob
that catches that Dodo or
I lose my Blog!
Ernsty: "yeah yeah yeah yeah"
"Ernst 'Wheezing laughter heeeheeeheeeheeheee!' Blofeld"
Ernsty: "yeah yeah yeah yeah"
"Ernst 'Wheezing laughter heeeheeeheeeheeheee!' Blofeld"
American English is redundant, you know. Just sayin...
ReplyDeleteCareful Carl, or I shall word gets to non mouse and then you'll be in real bother.
ReplyDeleteDodo
ReplyDeleteDear Lord, you haven't got hold of me missing MRI scan that Croydon Hospital conveniently misplaced, have you.
Is it bad news? as you appear to be developing an Ernsty tribute/Eulogy page in advance of me unexpected demise...
Quick, put the cyber swiss guard into action and find me best witticisms on Cranmer so that I can have a chortle and pop me clogs happy.
Blowers
ps
Should I not plan and start any big DIY jobs til I get Dr Dodo's all clear?
Dodo
ReplyDeleteCareful Carl, or I shall word gets to non mouse and then you'll be in real bother.
You see, in standard English that sentence would have to include a verb of some sort. Something like "I shall insure that word gets..." Is this construction of "I shall word gets" a typical British contraction?
carl
Blowers
ReplyDeleteDodo hopes for the best and prays all will be well. No excuses now, you get on with those little jobs Mrs Blowers want started.
I've been reviewing past posts, old friend, and confess I missed much of your wit and humour at the time.
(Plus, since publishing your material my blog hits have sky rocketed. I might even start earning a bit a dosh from all this - tax free too.)
*chuckle*
Carl, the missing word is 'ensure'.
ReplyDeleteInsure, indeed! That's when you secure or protect someone against a possible contingency.
Ensure is when you make certain that something will occur or be the case.
Honestly, American's.
What is it with Yankz and ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ's
ReplyDelete**SniggerZZZZZZZ*
Blowers
PZ
Do you like Ernst's new avatar of Jack lad helping old Ernsty in his new 'contraception'?
Blowers - it's bwilliant, bwilliant, I say.
ReplyDeleteAll we need now is one of your little ditties to accompany it. Mind, I think you've peaked with Blowfeldian Rhapsody. How can you possibly follow that?
.... or pozzibly, if the Yanks get there way.
Was ist das? Zu are up zu zupfink I zink ....norty lizzle zizi!
ReplyDeleteZas big booby Karl alwaze cauzzing problemz wiz hiz stupidz schmaltzie zamirkin zpellingz
Auf wiz hiz head!
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDelete"All we need now is one of your little ditties to accompany it. Mind, I think you've peaked with Blowfeldian Rhapsody. How can you possibly follow that?
ReplyDelete.... or pozzibly, if the Yanks get there way. "
Ewnsty get youw gun, get youw gun, get youw gun.
Take it on the wun, on the wun, have some fun
Heaw them cawwing you and me,
Evewy Son of Chwistianity.
Huwwy wight away, no deway, go today.
Make youw Dodo gwad to have known such a Wad.
Teww ouw Cwessie not to pine,
To be pwoud owd Ewnsts' on the fiwing wine.
Chowus
Over thewe, over thewe,
Send the wowd, send the wowd over thewe
That the Yankz awe coming, the Yankz awe coming
The dwums wum-Bwogging evewywhewe.
So pwepawe, say a pwayew,
Send the wowd, send the wowd to bewawe -
We'ww be ovew, we'we coming ovew,
And we won't come back tiww they speww pwopewly ovew thewe.
Ewnsty get youw gun, get youw gun, get youw gun.
Ewnsty show the "Yankz" you'we king of the prankz.
Hoist the fwag and wet hewe fwy
Yankee Poodwes - it’s spewt ‘WeawiSe’!!!.
Pack youw gwammaw kit, show youw fit, To be a Bwit.
Yankz cannot analySe thewe is no Z in CompwomiSe.
Make youw Mothewwand pwoud of you
of the owd Wed-White-and-Bwue
Chowus
Ovew thewe, ovew thewe,
Send the wowd, send the wowd, go compawe
That the Yankz are siwwy, the Yankz are siwwy
With theiw ize and yze flippin evewywhewe.
So pwepawe, don’t despaiw,
Send the wowd, send the wowd to bewawe -
We'ww be ovew, we'we coming ovew,
And we won't come back tiww thewe spewwings pwopew thewe.
Bwowews..ending with an S not a Z.
Dodo.
ReplyDeleteBwast it.
I fowgot a few W's and W's.
Wouwd you altew if you pubwish?
*GiggweS*
ps
ReplyDeleteEwnst is now Punch Dwunk wiv it aww.
Lol ....
ReplyDeleteMost excellent Mr Blofelt; most excellent.
Trust there's no copyright on all this. I'm hoping to publish and don't want to be paying royalties out.
(Must be my 50% Jewish blood!)
I shall edit as necessary before going to print.
Well, first off the '-ize' ending etymologically correct for the words in dispute. That's why Noah Webster cleaned up the spelling. The '-ise' ending is a pernicious French influence on the English language, and Americans are morally bound to expunge French influence wherever possible.
ReplyDeleteMore important however. This isn't a debate between Americans and Brits. Its a debate within Britain. So you shouldn't ask what is with the Americans and Zs. You should ask what is with Oxford and Zs. And then you should join us in the campaign against our common enemy - France.
carl
carl jacobs said..
ReplyDeleteBlofeld in Downton Dowager mode "Bless you, my fine yankee doodle fellow..
As with Ze Germans, Irony just goes completely over our Yankee couZins heads, unlike our Canadian couSins, who Get It!! .
Old Blowers always was of the firm understanding that knowing when someone’s being sarcastic/snarky, and being able to bat some back over the boundary (Cricket style, not Baseball), comes down to wit and emotional intelligence, not nationality...Trust you to buck all three here, 'Sheldon Cooper'!!!
Have a nice day now Cuz and Ya'ww
*Chuckwes*
Now, now Mr Blofelt, I know you have been granted the 'Freedom of the Blog' but kindness, Sir. I do believe Carl was attempting irony. Being American, we must have patience with him.
ReplyDeleteCarl, it pains me to admit it, but a scan of English dictionaries supports your position about the widely accepted spelling of "plagiarize". However, this merely demonstrates the extent of American corruption of the English language.
It is a Calvinist plot to rid the world of Latin. Admit it. French, as we know, is a much more refined and nuanced language, the "language of love", which is probably why French men are disinclined to fight. The protestant Yanks want to divide and rule Western Europe.
England and Britain intends to stand aloof from both empires.
After painstaking research, I can reveal the word derives from the Latin word "plagiarius" (literally kidnapper). It was pioneered by Roman poet Martial, who complained that another poet had "kidnapped his verses."
"Plagiarist" and "plagiarism" still remain correct, so all is not lost.