Thursday 29 December 2022

Fools?


Holy Fools




 simple Fools for Christ
daft, naïve and trusting souls
 condemned by others
for acting 'strange' in a time
when the world is going mad




learned Fools for Christ
feigning madness to
 disturb the peace 
and disseminate chaos
among the complacent 'sane'


Unholy Fools




those Fools for Satan
sowing weeds and tares
amidst the Kingdom 
disturbers of peace
seeking destruction 

Wednesday 28 December 2022

Dem ID's




Dedicated to Old Ernsty


Who connected them ID's?
Who connected them ID's?
Who connected them ID's?

Now, hear the word of the Lord!

Dem ID's, ID's .... ID's
Dem ID's, ID's .... ID's
Dem ID's, ID's .... ID's

Now, hear the word of the Lord!

Mr Eman's connected to Dodo
Dodo's connected to Uncle Brian
Uncle Brian's connected to Albert
 Albert's connected to Old Jim
Old Jim's connected to Cressida
Cressida's connected to The Inspector
The Inspector's connected to Mrs Proudie 
 Mrs Proudie's connected to Happy Jack
Happy Jack's connected to Sister Tiberia  
 Sister Tiberia's connected to Ardnjm
Ardnjm's connected to Corrigan
Corrigan's connected to Avi
Avi's connected to DK
DK's connected to Hannah
Hannah's connected to Samuel

Now, hear the word of the Lord.

Dem ID's, ID's .... gonna play around
Dem ID's, ID's .... gonna play around
Dem ID's, ID's .... gonna play around

Now, hear the word of the Lord.

Who connected them ID's?
Who connected them ID's?
Who connected them ID's?

Now, hear the word of the Lord!


Captain Blofeld's Blogging Almanac


Cap'n BadBack Blowers perches in his Crow's Nest.
His weathered eye always open.
With cutlass, spyglass and pirate headband, he is on constant watch.
Alert, scanning the Holy See for Buccaneer Dodo and his mateys.





Cap'n BadBack Blowers sounds the alarm

  Fowl play? 
Fowl play!
The game is afoot, dear communicants. 
*chuckles*

Captain Uncle Brian did Parlay

"In answer to your first query, I wasn't consciously quoting, or even alluding to, any other source." 
Was I Bilge-sucking or are ye three sheets to the wind?

"Why do you ask? "
Was the captain 'Hornswaggling'

"Am I missing your point?" 
Blimey!

"And in answer to your second, 
I was born and brought up in the C of E but am now, 
and have been for nearly twenty years, an "RC" "
I be not in possession of 'Letters of Marque'

"But my views on denominations are not divisive, quite the opposite." 
Savvy? Your Grace

"I tend to see the churches as one Church. 
Wherever two or three, and all that." 
We all being in possession of pieces of eight

"Some people swim the Tiber, 
others cross Lambeth Bridge, 
and there are even some who go canoeing in Lake Geneva."
All hands Ahoy and Batten down the hatches!

"But we are all brothers and sisters in Christ."
Blow me down! It be a veritable blood brotherhood

Your Grace said

"Your IP address was not available"
Perhaps the fellow is withholding it 

so he can download the directors cut of Mel Gibson's 
The Passion of Christ from the pirate bay, 
without getting annoying letters from those chaps at the anti-piracy group FACT..Arrrr

"this blog is assaulted daily by a nuisance"
 There be a plentiful bounty on his head for those that spot the blog buccaneer!

"who creates multiple identities" 
He be scalawag and a master of disguise like Commodore Clouseau
 but his parrot leaves feathers all over His Grace's blog

"and trolls every thread" 
deserving of the cat o nine tails and a short walk on the plank

"constantly banging on about the deficiencies of the Church of England 
and the perfection of the Church of Rome." 
He refuses to belay and He be in the employ of His treacherous 
Eminence Cardinal Richelieu and seductively assisted by his Scrumpet, Lady Cressida de Winter

"Each new incarnation is being summarily deleted, 
which is tiresome."
His Grace be sick of sending him to Fiddlers Green..
Next time he be made to dance the hempen jig, 
Keelhauled and a killick attached to his nether regions for good measure...
He not be survivin' this. 
There be no Sweet trade for those plying their trade on this ship.
.AAARGGGHHHH. 
Yo-ho-ho

Dodo the Pirate observed


"That be a dangerous pirate, that Dodo.
Keelhauled he were, by Admiral Cranmer and his motley crew.
Only man I ever knew that were keelhauled, and lived."..
*chuckles*

Wackyland Adventure - Re-Post

Dedicated to Mr Blofeld + Tiddles and Happy Jack




Our intrepid pig
in search of fame and fortune
seeks the Dodo bird


What is this strange place
filled with odd balls and nutters?
Could Dodo be here?


The Dodo is here
there and everywhere - too
Our pig needs a plan


"Ble-ble-er-er ....
I know how I can get that dog-gone 
pesky Dodo bird."



"Th-this ou-oughta 
b-b-br-br-bring him out
into the open" 

[Porky blows a *Catholic Dodo call* whistle]


Hmm... Dodo appears,
gives pig a piece of his mind
and then vanishes


Pig has caught Dodo!
The bird is ubiquitous
so others appear!


*Chortles* and *Guffaws*
Who or where can Dodo be?
Is he real at all?


To be continued .... or not

Twitters and Twoots



oh to be an Owl
once tried as an avatar
alas, detected
by Cranmer on the look out
for Dodo's return

Stop the Dodo

His Grace said:

"Dodo. Please do not presume to correct Mr Carl Jacobs' spelling. This is a catholic blog, 
and His Grace is as tolerant of American English 
as he is of schizophrenic communicants with multiple personalities 
and diverse expressions of identity."




Blast and Sussafrussarassafrassarickaracket
Ernst is always away from the blog when His Grace is delivering an ecclesiastical spanking.


Stop That Dodo

Ernsty Mutley you snickering floppy
eared hound
when courage is needed, you're
neer around.
Those medals you wear on
your moth-eaten chest
should be there for sniggering
at which you are best.

So stop the Dodo!


Howww? 


nab him

jab him
tab him
grab him
Stop that Dodo now!

You, silly, stop sneaking it's not
worth the chance
for you'll be returned to the care home by the seat of your pants
and Len, you invent me a
thingamybob
that catches that Dodo or
I lose my Blog!

Ernsty: "yeah yeah yeah yeah"


"Ernst 'Wheezing laughter heeeheeeheeeheeheee!' Blofeld"



Bwofeltian Wapsody

Bwofeltian Wapsody
 (Mr Blofelt - Master Wordsmith)


Is this the weal wife
Is this just fantasy?
Caught in a wandswide
No escape that ol' bwirdie 
seeds
Open your eyes
Wook up to the skies and see
I'm just a hun-ter, I need no sympafy
Because I'm easy come, easy go
A wittle high, wittle wowe
Anyway the wind bwowers, doesn't weally mattew to me, to me

Mama, twied to kill a bwird
Put a wifle to his head
No mow buwets, he's not dead
Mama, this cawtoon's just begun
But now I've gone and fwown it all away
Mama, ooo
Didn't mean to make you cwy
If I'm not back again this time tomowwow
Cawwry on, cawwy on, as if nothing weawwy mattews

Too wate, bwird is here
Which season is this time?
Wifle's aching all the time
Goodbye, likkle bwirdie - you've got to go
Gotta bwow out your brains and make some soup
Mama, ooo - (anyway the wind bwows)
I just want a pie
I sometimes wish I just had that bwirdies wing

I see a wittle siwhouetto of a Dwude
Speaw and Magic Hewmet will you do the fandango
Funderbolt and wightning - vewy vewy fwightening me
Gawwiweo, Gawwiweo,
Gawwiweo, Gawwiweo,
Gawwiweo Figawo - magnificOooooo

But I'm just a poor hunter nobody woves me
He's just a poor bwowers from a poor famiwy
Sharing his wife with this monstwosity
Easy come easy go - will you wet me go
Pepto Bismol! No - we will not wet you go - wet him go
Miss Cwessida! We will not wet you go - wet him go
Miss Cwessida! We will not wet you go - wet me go
Will not wet you go - wet me go (never)
Never wet you go - wet me go
Never wet me go - ooo
No, no, no, no, no, no, no -
Oh mama mia, mama mia, mama mia wet me go
Fwitz Fweeling has a Doddles put aside for me
for me
for me

So you think you can shove me and poke out my eyes
So you think you can wove me and weave me to cwy
Oooooh bwirdie - can't do this to me bwirdie
Just get my wifle - just bwow off your beak and your ears

Ooh yeah, ooh yeah
Nofing weally mattews
Awl your ID's can see
Nofing weawwy mattews - nofing weawwy mattews to me

*GONG*


Fools?

Holy Fools  simple Fools for Christ daft, naïve and trusting souls  condemned by others for acting 'strange' in a time ...